Category — Herpes-Diagnosis

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Is it normal to not have coped with my herpes diagnosis after a yr?
I was diagnosed with this disease in september 2008 and found out that my pregnancy triggered my first and only outbreak.

I had twins in May and I feel even worse about it. I’m scared to kiss my babies. I’m scrubbing, disinfecting, sanitizing all day long. Then, having a daughter I feel that I’m not strong enough as a woman because I did not protect myself so how can I teach her?

The only way I could have contracted HSV-2 was through my 14 year old boyfriend when I was 16 or my current Fiance who I have been with for the past three years since I broke up with the 14 yr old. I believe strongly my Fiance is the one who gave it to me but he never had an outbreak until after I had mine. During a fight, he told me that the woman he stepped out of our relationship with didn’t have it so he blamed me for giving it to him.

How could he accuse me when we had been intimate for years and neither of us had an outbreak? Is it still possible that the woman he was with DID give it to him but it is still undetected in her?

If I did GIVE him herpes, wouldn’t SHE have it?

The whole situation is confusing and lets just say not a day goes by that I don’t think about it. I still cry every time I take a shower especially since I am terrified of infecting my babies. I couldn’t even experience a natural delivery because I didn’t want to risk passing this on to my babies.

I hate that I don’t know how in the hell I got this.

Anyone else not coping well or have any advice how to cope?

Anyone have children or any advice on prevention?

How do you regain interest in intimacy? I really hate having sex because of this. I trust my partner NOW but I lack confidence and I’m scared of everything else now STD related.

Help??? Thoughts??

Sorry it’s so long

I was diagnosed with this disease in september 2008 and found out that my pregnancy triggered my first and only outbreak.

I had twins in May and I feel even worse about it. I’m scared to kiss my babies. I’m scrubbing, disinfecting, sanitizing all day long. Then, having a daughter I feel that I’m not strong enough as a woman because I did not protect myself so how can I teach her?

The only way I could have contracted HSV-2 was through my 14 year old boyfriend when I was 16 or my current Fiance who I have been with for the past three years since I broke up with the 14 yr old. I believe strongly my Fiance is the one who gave it to me but he never had an outbreak until after I had mine. During a fight, he told me that the woman he stepped out of our relationship with didn’t have it so he blamed me for giving it to him.

How could he accuse me when we had been intimate for years and neither of us had an outbreak? Is it still possible that the woman he was with DID give it to him but it is still undetected in her?

If I did GIVE him herpes, wouldn’t SHE have it?

The whole situation is confusing and lets just say not a day goes by that I don’t think about it. I still cry every time I take a shower especially since I am terrified of infecting my babies. I couldn’t even experience a natural delivery because I didn’t want to risk passing this on to my babies.

I hate that I don’t know how in the hell I got this.

Anyone else not coping well or have any advice how to cope?

Anyone have children or any advice on prevention?

How do you regain interest in intimacy? I really hate having sex because of this. I trust my partner NOW but I lack confidence and I’m scared of everything else now STD related.

Help??? Thoughts??

Sorry it’s so long

Hi, I am married two years to an extraordinary woman — she is beautiful inside and out, so uplifting and kind. Though our relationship has been entirely monogamous, of this I am entirely certain, she was given a visual diagnosis of HSV-2, followed by a lab diagnosis, a little more than a year ago. It was a complete shock to us both. Though I’ve had very few sexual partners, I have routinely had myself tested for the gamut. My tests have always come back completely clean, even for HSV 1 and 2, and all subsequent tests — the last conducted about two months ago — are also clean. (I’ve had them run every possible HSV test on me). I just don’t have it. She does.

She has had extremely frequent — as in, almost monthly — outbreaks. It has greatly reduced out ability to have sex. As she is a very health-conscious person — organic food, essential oils, no pharmacies, etc. — she will not take Valtrex or other prescription meds to relieve symptoms, and nothing else has really seemed to work. So for weeks at a time, we’re not having sex. Not long after her diagnosis, and despite my clean bill of health, she abruptly put a ban on oral sex, giving or receiving, so there’s no intimacy in that fashion either.

I am trying to be loving, patient, and supportive through all of this. My wife is a truly amazing woman, but the sexual component of our relationship was always a very meaningful one — a soulful, spiritual, joyful way to connect — and its absence is an ongoing challenge for me.

Sexually, I feel completely neutered; I cannot be the sexual aggressor or initiator. I have to constantly wait to see if she’s "available." (I know this is deeply frustrating for her too). I’m feeling diminished as a man, both by way of expressing myself to her and by way of receiving pleasure from her. (If she’s having an outbreak, then we’re both simply out of luck).

Emotionally, I’m having a really hard time with this. I miss the emotional closeness that a loving sexual relationship offers. Additionally, we would very much like to have a child together, but would really like to have a home birth (as she did with her first child); herpes can exponentially reduce the possibilities of a home birth, and can even complicate pregnancy and delivery from all the research we’ve done.

What’s more, I’m very angry about having to deal with this. She has often reflected on her free and expressive younger days, and the ways she has played and enjoyed herself in the past. I feel like I’m now stuck with the bill — and the brick walls; the outbreaks, more specifically — of someone else’s good time. I’m the clean-up guy. It drives me crazy having to hear about her past or know that she even occasionally, strictly platonically, speaks to ex-boyfriends. I feel absolutely stuck in someone else’s mess, deprived now for a good time once had. I know this is wrong-thinking, but I feel like I cannot connect with my wife in a very meaningful way. (Of couse, it’s not nearly the only way, but it is an important one).

I guess my question is two-fold: 1) anyone have any ideas about how to emotionally work through these issues and grow a greater intimacy and bond with my wife? and 2) is it safe to have oral sex if one partner has HSV-2, what other sexual ways have you found to connect with your partner when only one of you is infected, what all-natural ways have you found to possibly relieve HSV-2 symptoms?

I am sad. I am angry. I am disappointed, even, in the ways I am handling this situation. I miss the freedom and the romance and the clarity and connectedness our relationship once had, and am determined and devoted to work things out. I appreciate your input and insight, most truly.

I recently went to the doctor and was diagnosed with a yeast infection. This did not surprise me because I am a swimmer. I was given medication, and it seemed to clear up. A few months later I saw the same symptoms again, redness, itchiness, and what looks like a few blisters; I am not really sure. I have never had any fatigue or sickness that accompanies herpes, but I am nervous that it may be. I have heard that yeast infections and herpes have similar diagnosis’s and I am to scared to go back to the doctor and find out. What do you think?

last year in july, i found one small red bump on the side of my scrotum, i had just recently moved into a new apartment. i figured it was a spider bite or something, then more started appearing on my penis and scrotum and began to itch. i was so stressed about the possibilities of what it could be that i didn’t go to the doctor for about 4 months. during those 4 months the sores got a lot worse and spread all around my genital area, and all over the inside of both my thighs, and itched like crazy. then small bumps started appearing in the webbing of two fingers on my right hand. these bumps itched and broke open. when i finally went to the doctor he told me he believed it was scabies which was a relief at the time. he prescribed permetherin cream, which i used and seemed to work perfectly on my hand and everywhere else, but everytime i use it and it makes the bumps go away, they would just come back, though no where near as severe. I’ve been back to the same doctor 3 times and he keeps telling me its scabies but i’m not very convinced. one reason im not totally convinced about scabies is that the bumps on my hand keep recurring in the exact same spot on the exact same finger. Also, the spots that were recurring on my penis were also appearing in the exact same spots. i’ve been dealing with this for a while so it was easy to notice when bumps were appearing in the same spots. there have also been a few times where urinating will sting at the very end of my urethra. also, though i never had any big bumps on my wrist, whenever i used the permetherin cream, it seemed to irritate tiny red bumps on the inner part of my wrist, (also a typical scabies area). more so, soon after i spoke with my doctor and was prescribed the permetherin, i noticed my best friend had gone to the doctor and recieved permetherin, which was another relief knowing that if he had gotten scabies, then he had gotten it from me, meaning it wasn’t herpes. but the slight stinging while urinating and recurrence of symptoms even though i’ve completely washed everything i own many times over. also, i fooled around with a girl about 3 months before the first red bump appeared, and though we didn’t have sex, there was plenty of kissing and touching of the hands to genitals. I’m very confused and scared by the mixed symptoms of scabies and herpes and its been stressing me out for way too long, i’ll be going back to the doctor soon but i’ve read that doctors commonly avoid diagnosing herpes whenever there’s the slightest chance that it’s something else, just so they dont induce the stress that comes with the herpes diagnosis, but i’ve definitely stressed more than most people can imagine and would like to hear if anyone has any thoughts. i’m pretty stressed out right now while writing this so if anything i wrote isn’t clear please ask. thank you
also, i never had any type of fever or sickness during the occurence of the bumps. and the bumps on my genitals have been gone for about 2 months now, while the bumps on my hand return about every 2 weeks or so.

Two years ago I moved away from my boyfriend to finish grad. school. We decided to have an open relationship while I was gone. He ended up having a one night stand, which I can’t be mad at at all, but as a result he contracted genital herpes. I’m now done with grad. school, am moving across the country, and he’d like to go with me. We talk about marriage all the time, but I’m now having trouble getting over him getting herpes.

I’m concerned that since he just contracted it, if we start dating again he’s more likely to pass it on to me and if the relationship goes sour it was not at all worth it to me. I also HATE using condoms in long term relationships and would not be okay with this in marriage or dating. I also LOVE going down on my man all the time, and now I feel like I can’t. We used to have sex a few times a day and now I feel as if this disease would control that part of our lives. If it limited our sex life at all, I don’t think that’s something that I’m willing to give up in what I want in a relationship. Are my concerns warranted? Are married couples where one partner has herpes inhibited? Is oral sex a concern?

I’ve supported him completely and been totally accepting of his diagnosis to his face, but now I’m beginning to have second thoughts as to if this is something that I want in my life and am willing to sacrifice for…since that’s what I feel like the choice would be.

Thoughts?
I understand how herpes is contracted (that condoms can’t protect you, etc.) and the effects it has on a person…orally and other… I’m more interested in hearing first hand experience, opinions from couples dealing with this, or opinions….not medical advice.

Two days ago I went to the doctor because I had some discomfort in my vagina and I thought I felt a bump on my labia. I thought it might be a razor bump but fearing it could be Herpes I figured I’d get it looked at anyway. She checked me out and said everything looked okay just irritated and that I had something that looked like blisters in my vaginal wall but that she had poked and prodded at them and I hadn’t reacted so it couldn’t possibly be Herpes because I would have been screaming with pain. She asked if I had done anything new and I told her I had tried the KY Intrigue heat. She went on a rant on how those things should be outlawed and said I had Contact Dermatitis. She didn’t give me any medication only told me to put a cold cloth to sooth the area and if it got too bad to use diaper rash cream, which I did use and it did make me feel better. I asked her if I should get a blood test to be positve it’s not herpes but she said it wasn’t necessary that the bumps did not act in a hepatic manner. I thought everything was fine but last night I got a fever out of nowhere and when I woke up this morning I had several more bumps on my labia. They don’t hurt and they are not liquid filled, they are just hard little bumps and my pubic area feels tender. This is only my second time shaving this area so I don’t know how bad razor bumps can get but this feels wrong to me.

i am worried about a link between cancers and genital herpes

I am a married 39 year old woman who has just been given the diagnosis that I have Herpes 1 and 2. I also found out that my husband has been having an affair for over 5 years. The nurse said that since I have never had a break out I may never have a break out and that my numbers are very high. Now my husband wants to get tested. Is there any way to determine how long and do they test you for herpes during pregnancy? I am devastated, who would want to be with a person with herpes?

Almost 10 years ago, I went to the ER and was told that I have genital herpes. I thought it was an allergic reaction to an over the counter yeast infection cream. Anyway, I was told that I have herpes. I have not had an outbreak since then. Remember, it was 10 years ago. I’ve thought for years that I don’t have it since most reading I’ve done states that stress and other illnesses can cause an outbreak. Is there a blood test that can be performed to diagnosis this if no "blisters" or "sores" are present? The virus lays dormant in one’s system, so once you have it, you always have it. Anyone out there know?